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All reviews - Movies (32) - TV Shows (1)

Tromeo and Juliet review

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 1 October 2011 10:22 (A review of Tromeo and Juliet)

Romeo, Romeo... where for art thou..... Tromeo?

I have a personal quest I'm trying to fulfill. I'm trying to watch every last adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo And Juliet there is. I'm slowly getting there, but it's moving along.

I'm so glad I got this one out of the way.

This film was mostly annoying. I did feel for 'Tromeo' and Juliet in this film, they made the cutest couple (as is tradition with any Romeo and Juliet adaptation).
As for the rest of the characters bleh.

I'm not dumb it is a Troma production, therefore the words B Film and cult following come to my head. I didn't walk into this with high expectations so it's not like I'm disappointed. I think the pure sloppiness of the film and horrible script is what threw me off because it is a Shakespeare story.

The ending is not how the original story plays out, it's quite weird, but again... it's a Troma production. Also a lot of key elements to the original story are twisted and lost.

The only good thing about this film was the soundtrack. Awesome punk music (which I never thought could be in a Romeo and Juliet adaptation).

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Mulholland Drive review

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 1 October 2011 09:58 (A review of Mulholland Drive)

I'm so upset with this movie. The background and hype this film had made me super stoked to see it. Unfortunately I was pretty disappointed.

I guess to start off I'm not a huge fan of David Lynch. Don't kill me please.

I enjoyed Eraserhead, that's about it. I respect him as a director, hes original and calmly horrifying. He has his own style that no one else can match.

Anyway about this movie (it's going to be a short review)

It had way too many unanswered questions leaving me confused for the most part. I feel like Naomi Watts and Laura Harring make a wonderful pair of actresses but I knew the minute I saw them together on screen in this film that they would end up falling in love and fool around.

I feel like a lot of the hype from this film comes from being able to see Naomi Watts's tits and lesbian action. (which I'm not complaining, it was hot.)

I did like the entire scene of them going to the late night show at the creepy theater. That was well done and very surreal. Wait scratch that the ENTIRE film was surreal. (duh, it's a David Lynch film, Ashley.)

Moving on, I understand the story line, I didn't like the way the plot went along with the story. After watching it I felt like I wasted a good hour and a half. While watching the film some of the scenes, there is no explanation on why they were happening, you just kind of had to accept them. Lastly the film felt forced to have you take this mound of twisted surrealism and try to make sense of it which kind of hurt my brain cells.

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Deddo ribusu review

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 1 October 2011 09:33 (A review of Deddo ribusu)

This short animated film is soooooo hilarious. I watched it when I was totally drunk, with a bunch of friends because we only had an attention span for a 55 minute film.

First off the animation style is on meth. COLORS EVERYWHERE that move fast and uncontrolled with elements of a comic book (BAM! SLAM! WHOOOSSSHH!).

Because it is a short film, the story goes quick, and with a movie as vulgar as this be prepared to have a lot of 'what the hell' moments. Ideas and concepts of characters and situations you would have never thought possible come to life in this film. Things from ass pumps to characters with drills as private parts. I'm not joking.

ANYWHO the story is quite hilarious and TOTALLY 100% unrealistic. Like I said it goes quick so you need to be able to catch everything that happens.

I really enjoyed the fact that even though its only 55 minutes, you become attached to the characters. I found myself completely in tune with the 2 main characters and didn't have a hard time rooting them on after the first 15 minutes of the film.

Overall it is a 55 minute short film so why not watch it? It's colorful, hilarious, original, effective and vulgar. How can you not want to watch a film with quotes such as

"Hey Chinko, we need your wang!"
"Should I kiss you first or just stick it in?".


"That thing around your eye makes you look like a panda bear!"
"Yeah, well, that retro TV on your head makes you look like an asshole."

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Elephant review

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 1 October 2011 08:27 (A review of Elephant)

I'm going to start this review off by saying that the first time I watched this was when I was 15. Me and a friend were having a sleepover, and we stayed up all night watching IFC when it came on. We had no idea what to expect, only that it was set in a high school (so we could relate) and it had a hot blonde boy in it. Needless to say this film is what made me interested in film study, and media in general.

What a powerful film. Really. It doesn't hold back. It doesn't fluff it with pillows and unicorns. It's just straight brutal.

I also love how watching it you feel like your part of the school, like your 16 again, waltzing the halls.

The cinematography is very indie and was a totally new style that I had never seen before (when I was 15). It caught my attention enough to infulence me to spend the next 6 years of my life (and counting) studying, making and watching film.

I love how the film shows you a broad view of a select number of students and takes you into the life of them, even if it's only for a few hours. The film lets you relate to them whilst reminising about the bullshit you went through in high school. It's a familiar feeling, which makes the long a drawn out shots not so hard to watch.

Another point is that the characters, and the actors have the same names. I think this is a brilliant idea even if some people think it's uncreative. I can see it would give the actors the feel that they really are in this situation by using their real first names. Which in turn makes their acting more realistic. It's also an easy way to effectivly use names that are common, names that you would typically see in public high schools.

This film also has one point where it makes me furious. They spend 90% of the film making you attached to these characters, and in 5 minutes completely massacres them. At first my reaction is like 'dlskhjlksdjgl;sdf WTH!' but I thought about it and came to the conclusion that it was such a good move on Van Sant's part.

These characters, they are not superheroes. They are normal average people with interests and flaws and everything that makes up me and you. They have stories, and lives filled with memories and experiances. They desevre to be heard just as much as us. When it comes to something like school shootings, they are not special. They are Scared, confused, weak and mortal. The reality of it is that an unarmed high schooler is nothing compared to a high schooler armed with bombs and guns. No matter how much you don't want to see the character you connected with the most not get hurt, it's just not logical. Emotionally or physcially, every single person you see in this film gets hurt.

Ok I think I'm done now.

Lastly, the only thing I saw a flaw with was the fact that you can never buy the guns that those boys did over the internet like that. It was too easy, and just not realistic. I had my ex marine friend tell me that fact.

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Robin Hood: Men in Tights review

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 1 October 2011 06:29 (A review of Robin Hood: Men in Tights)

This is a movie that I secretly love. It's so cheesy and predictable, but we need that sometimes and I feel this is the best film to have that satisfaction to.

I'm not going to lie, this film makes me laugh about 2-3 times every 5 minutes. The jokes are witty and the film itself is just charming.

The acting is overly done, almost sarcastically but is acceptble because this entire film is a spoof.

I must add, you gotta love the Cary Elwes movies, for real. If I had to choose a mascot for the perfect prince figure it would totally go to him.

Lastly Mel Brooks is just awesome. :D

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Poltergeist review

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 29 September 2011 11:33 (A review of Poltergeist)

I re-watched this film recently because my loser boyfriend told me he had never seen it. So i said 'What the hell!' and then put it on.

Ok, so. First things first LOL @ SPECIAL EFFECTS! Don't get me wrong, for the time it was made those were some awesome effects probably the best anyone had seen before, but looking at it now it makes the film +5 on the cheesy scale.

Ok moving on. Second thing LOL @ THE DWARF GHOST HUNTER! She made the entire film. For real. She was sassy and had the most creepy voice ever which, a super creepy voice is a good thing in a movie like this right? I literally laughed out loud the entire time she made her cameo. I totally forgot about how hilarious she was. My boyfriend looked at me and was like 'Really?'. lol.

Ok now I'm done for real. Moving on, the acting was great, from the mother's fasination at first with the ghosts haunting the house to the utter anger and over tired persona after Carol Anne is taken.

I also loved how the parents are not your average 'Oh, lets sit at the dinner table and disscus our days with each other and go to bed at 8pm on the dot after a nice warm glass of milk and tuck our kids in for the night' kind of parents. They procced to go to their room, where the young children tuck themselves in their own beds (at least for the first night we see this family)pull out a hidden wooden box with marijuana and break it up right on the bed and roll a nice big fattie before going to bed.
Hm, sounds like my parents. O.o
It just kind of threw me off guard because normally in movies with young children, the parents are so A+ about being parents which is SO UNREALISTIC. So props on that.

Also Heather O'Rourke was such a good actress for her age, she really blew me away. It's sad she died so young, she had so much potential.

Overall this movie is good. The Script is well, the acting is great it also helps it's a classic. It's so fun to watch this and be like hahaha this is a Spielburg movie, of course comparing it to his latest films.

I also noticed my boyfriend, like in the middle of the film was like "This house isn't built on some indian burial ground is it?" of course I didn't tell him if that was correct or not, but this movie in it's ending was the original for the concept for what happens but since then has obviously been spoofed enough to where the concept has been leaked into the minds of people who have yet to see it. So when people who are watching it for the first time see the ending they are like "oh...typical. I kinda guessed that".

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo review

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 29 September 2011 10:18 (A review of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)

I'm pretty sure this was my favorite foreign film I've seen this year. I'm not a huge thriller fan, I feel like they all are the same. Suspence, Action, a little bit of romance thrown into the mind of the slightly deranged main character. This film does all of these things but in a so much more appeling way.

First off Lisbeth is one of the best characters I've seen in a while. She's alternative but still highly attractive, smart, witty and kick ass. Which when you think about it is kinda like 'oh, the perfect girl, well that is kind of unrealistic.' Well your wrong. They have that covered. She is far from perfect when you find out she's on leave from a mental asylum.

As for the other main character Micheal, I feel like he would have been utterly hopeless without Lisbeth which is a huge disadvantage on his character. The only thing that was good about him was the fact that he was comic relief and also had a huge part in helping Lisbeth piece back together the broken pieces of herself. I do give him credit, he did take part in helping solve the case, but for the most part he was the 'damsel in distress' which is hilarious.

Lisbeth's probation officer...oh my god. He is my #2 character in any movie EVER (that I've seen) who I utterly despise, number one being the father in 'Pan's Labrinth'. Which I have to give to the actor who played the P.O. because if you can make me HATE a character that much, and I say HATE without any regret, then you did a very good job. I feel like the revenge placed on him was well played, and very original. It totally left me with a smile on my face and completely satisfied to see what happens to him which makes me love Lisbeth even more.

The entire case of the missing woman was enthralling to, which throughout the entire film left you guessing who did it (until the end of course). The ending was good, kind of a 'fairy tail' ending, but besides that the rest of the film was on key with being awesome. I also enjoyed the grey tone feel the entire film had. No bright colors really, just bland and grey which fits perfectly with the film.

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The Scouting Book for Boys review

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 21 September 2011 01:00 (A review of The Scouting Book for Boys)

I acidentally watched this film believe it or not. I wasn't in the 'movie mood' but my boyfriend put one on anyway.

It started off slow and kind of annoying. I could hardly understand them at first through the thick accent and no subtitles. After a while I got use to it, but still it did annoy me. It took a while for things to really get going, it wasn't until the girl ran away where things got interesting.

The actions delt by David are understandable. I felt the hurt he had recieved by this single human being. None the less the way things turn out are pretty screwed up. There is an obvious point where the downfall happens and boy is it a downfall.

Near the end of the film I found myself glued to the television to see the outcome of this twisted story. The ending was heart wrenching but predictible.

Overall the story was mediocore, then turned way interesting in the last 45 minutes-1 hour of the film. The acting was mediocore and the accent was super thick I had a hard time understanding half the conversations. Emotionally powerful in some aspects as well as BEAUTIFUL scenery.


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Thirst review

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 20 September 2011 11:27 (A review of Thirst)

This film I feel is breathing life back into the whole 'vampire' genre since it's horrible downgrade thanks to Twilight. I honestly was like 'Oh, another vampire film, I wonder if I'll give it more than 4 stars.'. Boy was I wrong. This film was awesome.

To start off the first few scenes really pull you in. A priest who is willingly giving himself for science? Sweet. After the first 30 minutes the plot really thickens and it doesn't really stop thickening throughout the rest of the film.

One thing I would like to mention... this film was quite shocking and memorable for a few reasons. First off softcore porn much? For a minute I was about to be like...'wow, is this secretly a porn?'. It also was suprisngly bloody. Maybe I'm just use to vampire flicks without a huge amount of the red stuff. Whatever the case is, it felt to be the perfect amount of blood for whatever situation was going at the time. Plus I love gore in my movies, it makes them feel so much more thrilling.

Lastly the ending felt well deserved. He finally obtained what he truely wanted in the end, with no questions left unanswered. It was also quite the beautiful ending if I say so myself.

Overall very well written story, great plot development, beautiful cinematography. The only flaw I found was rare times where the story jumped and I kinda missed the jump and was confused about what was going on.


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Heathers review

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 September 2011 06:37 (A review of Heathers)

I'm going to make this review short. I adore this film. It's so funny and suprisingly violent. A young Winona Ryder and a young Christian Slater make the cutest pair.

The best part about this film is the entire thing is about these snoody prep kids, and watching this film is like bringing to life what I always secretly wished I could do to these types of kids in high school. (of course they were just fantasies, I'm not that cruel.)

I feel so bad for Winona's Veronica because she is so unhappy with the way her life is and then out of the blue this guy comes in who has the potential to turn things around for her. Of course she fell in love with J.D's charm, but he turns out he's such a bad guy.

This movie is also one where you have no idea what is going to happen next. J.D is SO unpredictable with what hes going to do, that when the plot is revealed your like 'WOW what a unique way to kill someone'.

Lastly this film holds some of the BEST movie quotes such as "Fuck me gentley with a chainsaw" and "Dear diary, my teen angst bullshit has a bodycount." as well as "Greetings and saluatations!". Overall this film is a funny and quirky teenage angst movie and possibly my favorite 80's film.

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